“I Think I Swallowed A Ninja Baby”
I’m pretty sure I look like a zombie these days and people are just being nice by not mentioning it to me. I don’t get much sleep because I wake up at least 6 times a night. Sometimes it’s because of leg cramps, other times it’s because I suddenly crave pizza and ice cream but mostly it is because of my baby kicking.
I swear I have had dreams that I swallowed a ninja and it’s trying to escape through my stomach. I know I’m supposed to be thankful that I have a very active baby but it is getting to be a real pain. I get really dizzy but I can’t fall asleep because of the frequency and the intensity of her kicks. All the moms I know say that it will get worse during the next few months.
One time I swear is practicing roundhouse kicks because her kicks were circling my entire tummy. You can literally trace a half circle at the area she is kicking. Another time, she was so low down my stomach that I was panicking that my baby might fall off! She was kicking near my left leg and it reallt felt as though she was tunneling her way out using axe kicks.
I don’t hate her kicks though. Lately, I’ve been going through the worst thing that could happen to me at this time but the reason why I get through it is because of her. I often feel alone and abandoned but at the times when I want to give up on everything, she gives me her strongest kick as if to wake me up to reality. Yes, life isn’t what I would want it to be and there are so many reasons to be angry at the world but her presence makes me realize that life is still worth it.
The future is a haze to me right now but I know that eventually, everything will be okay because I have my daughter to inspire me to be the best that I can be. I love her and I will spend the rest of my life to make her love me too. And even now, I know she will kick ass when she’s all grown up.
PS Chuck Norris is NOT the father of this child.